mencoba merangkai sastra
ketika semua yang telah kau bangun longsor layaknya istana pasir yang diterpa ombak
ketika tali yang telah kau ikat kuat perlahan melonggar seiring waktu
ketika apa yang telah kau tanam tak kunjung tumbuh seperti yang kau harapkan
ketika semua telah menjadi potongan kecil
ketika semua telah bercerai berai
ketika waktu tak memperdulikanmu dan terus berputar
ketika itu pula semua telah kuanggap berhenti
sampai disini
bukan
bukan aku tak mau mencoba untuk beradaptasi
bukan karena aku telah lelah mencoba
tapi
akan lebih baik jika aku menarik diri
dan akan jauh lebih baik pula jika semua berjalan tanpaku
maka teruslah berjalan
dan aku disini pun akan ikut berjalan
dengan kebenaran yang telah ku dapat
heart fighting
i know im bad
i know i easily give up on something
i know i can’t be like you all want me to be
but don’t you know that im here struggling? to make all this thingy better? try to fix the broken parts?
why don’t you appreciate my effort to put all of this stuff in the right place?
may be im the childish one for always waste my tears for useless things that happen in my life
do i make the wrong choice?
lucky me still have Allah, family, bestfriends and mujumo
i dont know what will happen if they are not around
like they said, “You’re strong. Just. Don’t. Ever. Give. Up. Ignore all the bad words that come to you, they just wanna put you at the lowest place. You dont deserve it, but they do”
i’ll try :’)
the hardest week
since i arrived at bandung for the very first time, i bet this is the hardest week ever.
got assignments everyday in the whole week, laboratory class with it’s progress report, desain class and tasks, 3 presentations and also 4 organizations meeting in a day.
fatigue? don’t ask
i can’t even take a bath more than 5minutes. at the third day having a week like this, i force myself to cry, what do i do here? what kind of college life do i live? why can’t you all sent me back to my hometown? im totally homesick! i need a warm hug from my family, i miss them *breathing*
last semester, i begging for a busy day. so i’ll finish my day with things that is more meaningful than just laying on my bed-browsing-eat-sleep and repeat. but hey, not kind of week like this that i beg :( or maybe i just too childish to beg?
i need a time management class for real, to manage my whole day in years.
oms: ‘cmon ririe you can’t be like this for a long time! wake up. make a plan and action. God knows you will and you can solve all of them. keep your chin up and SEMANGAT!’
hello oms, thankyou for supporting me all the time. for always there and catch me when im down. like for seriously, you’re the best brother-ex i ever have. LOVE YOU :’)
